React Watch Believe Yikes:Vive la Resolution!
by snake screamer
Summary: Inspired by UknownHero work. the gang watch this PSA (Warning features Creepy!Ruby.) i apologize for the poor writing.


"You know I want to watch this PSA." Creepy ruby said as Weiss completely missed in attempted possess bat swing and destroy her dresser

'DAMNIT!'

"Uhh why do you want to watch that PSA." Yang said curiously "I mean it's not even close to new years."

"Well i always loved that time,new beginning, resolution, staying up past curfew. quite a good year." Ruby said

Yang was about to say something but Blake chimed in "We better play along, gives us time for Weiss to hit her over the head."

Yang nodded as she said "You know your right lets watch it, can't be any worse than the other things we saw."

"YAY!" Ruby said as she played the video.

**__****Vive la Resolution!**  


Sarge: Alright ladies, huddle up. As you all know, the new year is fast approaching.  
Donut: Yeah, I'm throwing a Parisian-style New Year's Eve soirre, a la grand palace de Donut. I mean, du croissant.  
Sarge: For the last time, Donut, just because you put a b'day in the latrine, that doesn't make the base your own personal French banquet hall!  
Donut: Ah, come on Sarge, you remember the fun last year when Grif brought Champaigne.  
Simmons: No he didn't. Champaigne comes from a specific region in France. Not by mixing 7Up and rubbing alcohol.  
Grif: Excuse me, imitation 7Up? Name brands are for suckers.

"Well at least he not mixing it up with Redbull." Yang muttered "Gawd i-"

"Hate the stuff, we know!" the other girls said annoyed making Yang frown annoyed

Sarge: No more French talk. We're not surrendering again this year and that's final! We've agreed to participate in the first annual Blood Gulch Resolution-off, also known as the Resolvathon.  
Grif: Sarge, I have no idea what you're talking about and I already think this is gonna end badly.

"Yeah? when have they ever ended well for you guys?" Weiss said

"BURN!" Yang said

Sarge: We're competin' against the Blues to see who can come up with the best New Year's resolution.  
Simmons: What does the winner get?  
Sarge: Nothing. But the loser suffers a fate worse than death. They actually have to follow through on their resolution.  
Grif: What? That defeats the entire purpose of making a New Year's resolution.

"Grif, that is the purpose." Ruby said

Simmons: Grif, that is the purpose.

"Huh so that what it feels for Weiss... can't say i like it." Ruby muttered

Grif: Oh, I thought the purpose was to make yourself feel better about stuff you're never gonna do.  
Sarge: This year, my resolution is to be more tolerant of other people's ideas and opinions.  
Simmons: Great idea, Sir.  
Sarge: Yes it is. And I'll kill anyone who doesn't agree.

"That's contradictory!" Ruby said annoyed

Cut to Church talking, as he often does  
Church: Okay guys, we gotta come up with some really great resolutions. I believe in you guys, you're all smart, and creative, aaand you have lots of different ideas. In fact, I think that this is the best team ever.  
Tucker & Tex are silent (Probably looking at Church as if he grown a second head) and Caboose is facing backwards.

"Yeah you keep telling yourself that lie church and maybe one day maybe even you would believe it." Weiss muttered

Caboose: Where is Church? I can hear him, but I can't see

Church: I know you guys can do it.  
Caboose: I think I am invisible.

"OH for pete sake, just turn around it's not like she that super-annoying ninja!ruby." Blake snapped before remembering who was in the room. "Err... no offense."

"Oh no problem, i admit i was abit of a problem, i didn't bother to even sever any limbs or secretly pain the room with blood, i was quite silly back then." Ruby said causing the other to shiver uncontrollable as Real!Ruby slap her forehead annoyed since she pretty sure the others would force her to see a therapist after this.

Tucker: Thanks man. Hey, wait a minute, what's your New Year's resolution?  
Church: I have resolved to do a much better job, motivating all of you retards.

"GODDAMNIT!" Weiss snapped

"Why are you getting so angry?" Blake said

"Err nothing, forget it." Weiss said, not wanting to reveal that was her new year resolution as well, minus the retard part.

Church: In fact I'll tell you what if you can't come up with things that you need to change about yourself, I have compiled a list of areas that each of you can improve in. For some of you it's very long.

(church's Tex list 1)be nicer to me 2) Continue to hurt Tucker 3) Karate chop is not an acceptable massage technique 5) she meant nothing to me 6) how many times are we going to have this argument

"Wait, church cheated on Tex, does that mean he cheated on her first." Yang said

"Well it would explain why she would sleep with other guys and steal his mon-URK!" Blake said as ruby glared at her

**"DON'T SYMPATHIZE WITH AN ENEMY OF THE CLUB!" **Ruby mentally/demonically roared.

"For god sakes nod your head before you lose all control of the bowels!" Noire shouted, not wanting to be in the same situation as Yang. Causing Blake to somewhat snapped out of it as she nodded rapidly causing Creepy!Ruby to stop as she restarted the video

Tucker: I'm gonna show more respect to women. Chicks totally fall for all that sincerity crap.  
Tex: I guess if I have to have a New Year's resolution, maybe I can try settling my differences with people, without resorting to violence.  
Tucker: That's a great idea. You should try settling them by resorting to sex.

"Great way of showing your sensitive side dumbass." Weiss mutted

Tex: I was thinking diplomacy.  
Tucker: Tex, it's "sex and violence." Who ever heard of "diplomacy and violence?" Go for the sex. I do.  
Church: Tucker.

(Tucker new year resolution list ? TUCKER 1. Less talk talked, more walk walked 2. Less talking about the walking 3. What's with the stains in my shirts man? Laundry duty is not story time. And quit letting Caboose drink the laundry detergent. That's not funny 4. Stop spending so much alone time with your rock.

Tucker: What? We still have a few more hours before the contest starts.  
Tex: We do? Good.  
Tex punches Tucker in the arm so hard that he falls over and bleeds

WBY snickered abit and even ruby smirked at what Tex did to Tucker

Tucker: Ow, son of a- woman, you just lost all my respect!  
Church: Well, so much for both of those ideas. Hey Caboose, what's your resolution?

(Church list of new year resolution for Caboose. 1) Stop drinking the laundry detergent 2) a picture of a puppy with a tiara 3) pants are not a group activity

Caboose: I don't think we should be part of a revolution. I love my country, and I think we should support our troops!

"What? is, is he confusing resolution with revolution?" Weiss said

"Who know with him." Yang said, ruby was still thinking of that cute puppy annd thinking it look cuter if it brain was also showing.

Tucker: Caboose, we are our troops.  
Church: Hugggh, dear God. I hope this year isn't as long as last year.

list of church possible new year resolutions (1 continue to be devastatingly handsome 2) own the room 3) light up the world with your smile. 4) Don't hate the player. 5) tone down sarcasm? Eh fuck that. 6) write sixth resolution.

"Wait, why would he make a list for himself if he already has one."

"He might be thinking of changing it, it can be very tiring trying to motivate people when you find them annoying." Weiss said

Cut back to Sarge being all Sargey  
Sarge: Okay, let's review. This year, Grif resolves to quit drinking, smoking, and overeating.  
Grif: Fuck that, I'm no quitter!  
Sarge: Also to die. Simmons will work on controlling his anger-  
Simmons: God dammit I don't have an anger control issue!  
Sarge: And Donut will stop talking like the French cartoon skunk Pepe la Pieu during staff meetings.  
Donut: Oui oui, my precious floweur. Hum, huhua, hu hu huh huhuh, huh humhah, humwah, mwah, mwah.

"That the worst pepe le pew accent ever!" Yang said

"Do you even know who Pepe Le Pew is?" Blake muttered

"No, but i'm pretty sure he does not talk like that." Yang said

Grif: What about you Sarge?  
Sarge: Me? I'm resolving never to get caught by surprise in a battle situation. Of course that's hardly a challenge for me, as I can sense the enemy's movement, before they even know they've moved themselves.  
A tank shell hits behind Sarge and bullets start flying  
Sarge: Dick Clark's robot clone! We're being attacked! By surprise!  
Church: Yeahah, suck it Reds! (Blue team, Tex and Sheila start attacking the red.)

"OMG! YES SHEILA KICK THERE ASSES," Yang shouted, then added "oh and you guys, can kick there asses too. i guess.

Tucker: Yeah, take that! Take that!  
Caboose: Yeah, it's New Year's Eve Revolutionizing time!  
Tucker: Come get some disrespect, bitches!  
Simmons: What the hell are you guys doing?  
Church: Sheila calculated the odds of us winning the contest at two hundred and fifty six million to one. Actually to point nine eight, but we rounded off.

"And then the great Sheila pointed out the resolution to defeat those odd is to enter combat." Yang said

Tex: So since we're gonna lose anyway, we decided to make our own resolution kicking your ass!

"Meh close enough."

Caboose: Yeah! You've been auld lang synenized! (you can hear church laughing evilly in the background) You will now forget acquaintances, that you didn't know you were supposed to forget!  
Sarge: Grif, quick! Do your best Frenchman impersonation while we leave you to die without dignity! I mean, while we get, the base ready for the party!  
Grif: I told you this would end badly. I picked the wrong day to quit smoking.  
Church: Hahaha, better luck next year ya dumbass.  
Grif: And drinking. And eating ho-hos.  
Donut: I sure hope this battle ends soon, I wanna get back to the base before midnight so I can watch the balls drop.  
Tucker: There's only one ball in Time Square, Donut.  
Donut: ...What's Time Square?

"Yeah what is time-square, i heard of the ball drop but not that." Ruby said, looking at the others to see if they know anything. Only getting bright blushes in response. "Fine be quiet, i'll get something to drink myself. (Ruby leaves the room.

"Oh dangit, we forgot to knock her out." Yang muttered

_**AN: I apologize if you guys don't like the fic, all credits goes to Uknownhero for starting his rwby/RVB stor. all credit goes to him.**_


End file.
